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Hello. Sooo… you came here because you either thought this was going to be a funny post or a serious one. Or perhaps you really want to know how to get ready for a dick appointment. Well ladies (and fellas) – here you go. This is my take on how to get ready for a dick appointment.
Hair
You want your hair to be cute, however, remember that it may end up a mess after you roll around in bed so keep that in mind when you style it. Slick it back, bring an extra rubber band and brush in case you need it later. You pretty little naughty gal.
Nails/Toenails
Make sure your nails are nicely filed as well as your toenails. You don’t want to hurt your partner with rough edges and talons – unless he is into that. Go for a glow in the dark mani or some other pretty color – he probably won’t be staring at your nails, however, just in case.
Hygiene
GIRL – Wash your entire body. Wash every curve, crevice, hole and so on. Top to bottom! Don’t miss any spots. Use a pretty scent if that is your thing – but WASH YOUR A$$ (and your vagina too)!
Shave or wax under your arms, your legs and your lady bits. If you don’t shave or wax your lady bits you can always give it a nice trim if you feel the need to do so. Make it look fabulous and edible.
Lotion and/or powder your body with your favorite scent but don’t overdo it – you don’t wanna smell like a cheap hussy for your appointment.
Brush your teef and bring a mouth wash or mints along just in case you need to freshen up later. GARGLE UP GIRL.
Makeup
Use sweat/water proof makeup if you can so that it can stay on when you’re getting wild in bed. Use a good setting spray so you can remain cute as long as possible. Or – just don’t wear any makeup at all. A pretty lip may turn him on if you know he is into lipstick or lip gloss on you.
Attire
You can pretty much wear anything depending on how long you have known this person. However, for best results dress slutty. Kidding – dress in some sexy and comfy attire that is easy to toss on the side once he is ready for business. Trying to take off a million zippers and buttons is so not sexy ladies – unless he is into a long unveiling.
What to Bring
Full set of extra clothes (you can keep that in your car). Condoms. Lube – if you think you may need that. Mouth wash – in case you know what happens (GARGLE, GARGLE). Some enthusiasm and a great personality (HA!) A brush and rubber band may also come in handy before your walk of shame.
I hope this helps you a bit on your quest on how to get ready for a dick appointment.
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